Jokes, Jokes, & More Jokes..!

Fun with Pizza Orders

Fun with Pizza Orders - If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop pressing the buttons.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Make up a credit-card name. Ask if they accept it.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Use CB lingo where applicable.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

Fun with Pizza Orders - End the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Tell the person taking the order that you have a rival pizza place on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Just give them your address and exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" Then hang up.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Answer their questions with questions.

Fun with Pizza Orders - In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Use these bonus words in the conversation: robust, free-spirited, cost-efficient, ukrainian, and puce.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Tell the order taker to "put the crust on top this time."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Refuse to name the toppings you want. Instead spell them out.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Stutter on the letter "P".

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask for a special offer that's only available from their competitor. (For example: If calling Domino's, ask for a "Cheeser! Cheeser!")

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask what the order taker is wearing.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Say "Hello", act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Tell the order taker you're depressed. Convince him/her to cheer you up.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Change your accent every five seconds.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Start your order with "I'd like...". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't."

Fun with Pizza Orders - If they repeat the order to make sure it's right, say, "Okay, that'll be $Fun with Pizza Orders - 99; please pull up to the first window."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if you can rent a pizza. Tell them about their competitors "rental plan".

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Say, "Are you sure this is Pizza Place? When they say yes, say, "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, Pizza Place, start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream "Goodbye!" at the top of your lungs.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Imitate the order taker's voice.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Eliminate verbs from your speech.

Fun with Pizza Orders - When they say, "What would you like?", say "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Play a sitar in the background.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask to see a menu.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Quote Carl Sandberg.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Say you'll be able to pay for the pizza after the movie people call back.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask the order taker "if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Shout, "I'm through with (wo)men! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Psychoanalyze the order taker.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order two toppings, then change your mind and say, "No, they'll start fighting."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Report a petty theft to the order taker.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask for "the guy who took my order last time."

Fun with Pizza Orders - If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Try to talk while drinking something.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Start the conversation with, "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and... action!"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask about pizza maintenance and repair plans.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Be as vague as possible with your order, but be very specific about the proper dimensions for the box.

Fun with Pizza Orders - When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more Oomph this time."

Fun with Pizza Orders - If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

Fun with Pizza Orders - After ordering, say, "I wonder what this button on the phone does." Pretend to be cutoff.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

Fun with Pizza Orders - State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Make a loud "Ksssssssht" sound into the phone. Ask the order taker, "Did you feel that?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

Fun with Pizza Orders - When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Put them on hold.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say, "I said, 'sauce smothered with meat'."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

Fun with Pizza Orders - When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - When you're given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Haggle.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order a one-inch pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Insist that you must "speak with the big cheese." If the order taker gives the phone to someone else act confused.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order term life insurance.

Fun with Pizza Orders - When they say, "Will that be all?", snicker and say, "We'll find out, won't we?"

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Engage in some serious swapping.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, "Please don't mention that word."

Fun with Pizza Orders - Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "Ow!" when a bullet is fired.

Fun with Pizza Orders - If (s)he suggests a side order, ask why (s)he is punishing you.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Order a steamed pizza.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your time of day wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

Fun with Pizza Orders - Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

Fun with Pizza Orders - If the order taker get's annoyed when you attempt any of the above, say, in your best pouty voice, "Last guy let me do it."